USS Tamerlane

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:51 pm 
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I'm starting the discussion thread and I'm going to try to upload the PDF file. Wish me luck.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:55 am 
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I won't get into any spoilers here, but I will say this was a great comic, and I hope that you will all give it a read. There's some really nice character elements to it, and the art is getting more sophisticated with each outing. A very enjoyable series. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:28 pm 
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Artist: Nova Trek
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Okay, the book is posted and the link is working. So give it a read and I'm looking forward to comments.And those of you who might want to read Shev- and Aunt T'Pel's- first appearence in a Nova Trek story, check out my "Nova Trek: Altered lives" short stories.

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=447

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=475

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=509


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:43 pm 
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Artist: Surya
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Some initial thoughts from a first pass (I'm writing these as I read it, so they're not very polished):

The art is definitely improving, though some of the characters still make me think of those puppets in the Genesis video "Land of Confusion"

Page 8 seems pointless, as if it exists to try and justify the presence of the Dakota-class ships. In my opinion, they need no justifying - Star Fleet is always going to have some older ships on the verge of retirement, because no-one is going to throw away ships while they're still useful.

The tying-in sequence, showing Shev and Janet's history, is well done. Hooks them together without making us re-read things we all ready know.

Why is Shev the only person in AuxCon when the ship is at Battle Stations? Sure, it makes sense to only have one person in there during routine patrol, but at Battle Stations all the sleeping people get up and go somewhere. A logical place for the off-duty Bridge crew to be is in Aux Con just in case the Bridge is knocked out and they have to take over.

The bloweded up bridge shot looks cool. Do that larger as a portrait.

Okay, I understand why Shev would want to stay in control of the Venture, no matter how nominal, but there's no way a full captain should have let her get away with it. Even if he just sent over some Ensigns to "assist" she should really not be alone in there.

AAAGH more trying to explain shit. "Combined Security-Weapons Console" :headdesk: (In case it was not clear, I find the average Trek fan's need to come up with explanations for story evolution annoying. You need to explain that Chekov left. You don't need to prequel Tasha Yar's dual hats, and doing so drives me out of the story.)

Hahaha! He's lucky she's letting him "resquest" a transfer!

Shouldn't Venture be on at least two shifts? An off-duty captain should not have been a surprise to either Shev or the audience. Also, Captains don't actually stand watches; they work whenever there's a challenge or an emergency and the trade-off is they don't have to be on the bridge when things are calm. And now that I think of it, Venture is over-crowded but doesn't have the bodies to put two people in Aux Con? That makes no sense.

I like the conversation with Uncle Frank, lays out a lot of information while keeping everything interesting. It does show a certain lack of knowledge of naval protocol - who Jan puts in the Helm seat is none of Fitzpatrick's business, and certainly it isn't his job to note that sort of thing in the records. (It's Spock's, actually, as First Officer) but it does tell the audience things they presumably need to know.

Aurora!!11!! Serving as an entertainment show in the Novaverse, is it?

Why is Janet assuming fleet command (even if it's a fleet of two) when there are two admirals in the room?

Never ever ever ever ever write the phrase "they used to call it" it's trite, hackneyed, and in this case in appropriate, unless boxing's vanished...

The bit on Qonos is so well done, I can hear the voices.... chills, mate, seriously.

Romulan bit too. And ooh, nice, nice writing with hooks and unresolved plots and damnit-I-want-more!!!

Seems odd to have a capital ship on patrol by herself, but I suppose it's a defensible world decision.

Okay, that's my as-I-thought-of-them impressions. Overall, I give the story 90%+; art 80% - most of the weaknesses being in the posing, a bit in the faces and expressions; anything inorganic looks good but you're using old meshes and it shows. Technical/military accuracy about a 60 - 70%; and full-points for a well thought through universe.

Also, I promise that the imminent-war-with-the-Romulans story I might do someday is convergent evolution, and not me ripping you off - I wrote the outline last week, I swear! :)

I like this, your characters feel good, their needs and emotions feel real. There's a cool Nisei-analogue going on with Shev, and her friendship with Jan is believable.

Well done, sir.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:38 am 
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Artist: Nova Trek
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Why is Janet assuming fleet command (even if it's a fleet of two) when there are two admirals in the room?

If it had been admirals that didn't know Jan, they would have taken command- and remember Uncle Frank did question her decision to let the computer control the phasers.
Remember Admiral Fitzpatrick knows Jan -she's his neice- he knows what she's capable of. He knows that if it had been a major operation- say five or more ships- a major naval operation- she would have stepped aside for him.

As for Tasha, I wasn't fore shadowing her. I was bringing in Chekov's absence in TAS- plus his position at the weapons console in the movies. This is a good place to point out that this story serves a few purposes. It writes in Shev and T'Pel, it also mirrors things that happen in both TOS and TAS. Sulu was missing for most of second season where George T. was off filming "The Green Berets". Chekov wasn't in TAS. Rand's carreer path changed from yoeman to eventual first officer to Sulu. I wanted to echo these changes, and at the same time, bring readers up to speed on the situation before the 3-parter starts.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:33 am 
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Artist: Surya
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mdbruffy wrote:
Why is Janet assuming fleet command (even if it's a fleet of two) when there are two admirals in the room?

If it had been admirals that didn't know Jan, they would have taken command- and remember Uncle Frank did question her decision to let the computer control the phasers.
Remember Admiral Fitzpatrick knows Jan -she's his neice- he knows what she's capable of. He knows that if it had been a major operation- say five or more ships- a major naval operation- she would have stepped aside for him.


Okay, that's fair. And Jan's reaction time is probably a lot better than Frank's; ;by the time he thought of anything to say Jan had already given orders.

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As for Tasha, I wasn't fore shadowing her. I was bringing in Chekov's absence in TAS- plus his position at the weapons console in the movies. This is a good place to point out that this story serves a few purposes. It writes in Shev and T'Pel, it also mirrors things that happen in both TOS and TAS. Sulu was missing for most of second season where George T. was off filming "The Green Berets". Chekov wasn't in TAS. Rand's carreer path changed from yoeman to eventual first officer to Sulu. I wanted to echo these changes, and at the same time, bring readers up to speed on the situation before the 3-parter starts.


Right. Except that Chekov already manned weapons consoles in TOS - both Helm and Nav have phaser controls IIRC. And there is no evidence whatsoever of the Chief of Security wearing the same hat as the Weapons Officer in the movies, that I'm aware of. I remain open to rebuttal, of course. But the combination doesn't occur until TNG, and the explanation is overly complex. Chekov is off to another ship, working his way up to XO of Reliant a few years later. What more explanation is needed? If anything, he should be going to Command School. The bit with Sulu is complex, too, but it has possibilities for the future, ties in with Mirror-Sulu's being Chief of Security, and most importantly gives us a look at T'Pel's personality, so the time is usefully spent.

The scene with Rand is good, too, if only to be sure your readers know 100% that it is Rand on the Nav console. Jan is a bit wishy-washy in that sequence, but it's a reasonable character trait and while it would drive me personally crazy, is a viable management style.

The thing with Chekov just got me, because it seems like Trekkies need to make complicated explanations (the bridges are modular and can be swapped out) when a simple one will work (these two ships, though similar enough to be of the same class, happen to have different bridges, because they're not mass-produced in a factory and changes happen.) So for me, I'd have said that Chekov has been bumped to Lieutenant and transferred to the Ares as a Department Head, hinting at his eventual rise to LCR and 2IC of Relaint.

This doesn't make the story bad, it's just one of my personal tripwires.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 12:12 pm 
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Artist: Nova Trek
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Right. Except that Chekov already manned weapons consoles in TOS - both Helm and Nav have phaser controls IIRC. And there is no evidence whatsoever of the Chief of Security wearing the same hat as the Weapons Officer in the movies, that I'm aware of. I remain open to rebuttal, of course.

In The Search for Spock, Chekov was handling security- from the weapons console- when he spotted McCoy's break-in into Spock's quarters. He led the security detail that joined Kirk there. And If you count the comics, He did handle both security and weapons in the comics.

Going back further, he manned the weapons console in TMP. V'eger's energy probe came out of his console and scortched his arm.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:21 pm 
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I think Guy got lost... :(


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 1:11 am 
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Artist: Tamerlane
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No, my database crashed. I'll get there... stay with me.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:59 am 
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Aabh wrote:
No, my database crashed. I'll get there... stay with me.


Ah! okay. I hope Tamerlane was on an external drive! :o


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