USS Tamerlane

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:49 am 
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Artist: Surya
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Location: Edmonton, AB
Okay... I've been working some more on Trek stories, and am feeling the energy of this one. So I thought I'd start posting it up.

The plan is to do a page a week and see how long I can stay in front of it... I don't think I'll keep up, especially as I never did finish writing the script, but we'll see what happens.

A couple comments at the start:
- Resting Place tells the story of USS Surya's final adventure. This doesn't mean I'm done writing Surya stories - just that I had an idea for a story set in TNG. (It also means I'm violating my "not going to use movie ships" plan. Oh, well.) I've lifted the basic idea from a novel, this time, a not a Trek novel, either - I'm curious to see if anyone notices.

- In my older stories I always said "Star Fleet;" in this one I use "Starfleet." That's a deliberate jargon change I felt compelled to point out.

- Lexington is NCC-1703-B, because I never thought it made sense for Enterprise to be the only ship whose hull number carried forward. I picked the "B" because we've seen three Lexingtons on screen - a Connie, an Excelsior, and a Nebula, and I figured most ships probably weren't being replaced as fast as Big E.

That's all I can think of for kick-off comments. As always, questions & critiques are welcome. Not as welcome as beautiful half-naked women in my living room, but welcome nevertheless.

-Davyd


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:00 am 
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Author: Saladin
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Looking good so far. One dialogue bubble at the beginning seems to have a couple of words running together so you might want to fix that, but otherwise, perfect. Your characters, sets and lighting look very sharp and I'm looking forward to reading this one.

Thumbs up!

Ken :)

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 1:43 pm 
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Lieutenant JG
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I agree, it is off to a good start and also I like the Lexington's bridge set up.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:04 am 
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Artist: Surya
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Oh, nice catch Ken. Hopefully we can catch all the typos as I post this and thus stand a chance of getting them fixed. :)

And thank you both for the encouragement.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:59 pm 
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Artist: Nova Trek
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Just read what you've posted so far. I'm hooked. Looks good so far.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:50 pm 
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Artist: Surya
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Well, it looks like I'm probably going to do better updating on Wednesdays. Just too much happening on Tuesdays.

My buffer is down to 5 pages. :( And I've got a concert to go to so I don't think I'll get the page I'm working on done in a week. :(

One of these days I'll learn to not write in splash scenes with a dozen characters...


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 4:10 am 
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Artist: Nova Trek
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I got a notice about your post VE, but the address for the forum didn't look right:

This is what it read as:usstamerlane@p3slh199.shr.phx3.secureserver.net

and the subject line had this:=?UTF-8?B??=

I didn't open the notice. I came by way of the internet. None of this looked right. Anyone know what's going on?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:28 am 
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Author: Saladin
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I know they just upgraded forum software, so it might be due to that. For the time being, just delete them and move on. I'll post your quote in the forum management section. :)

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Ray Martin is the Captain of the U.S.S. Saladin, in the latter half of the 23rd Century.
"Alternate starship designs are from the Starfleet Technical Manual by Franz Joseph (c) 1975 and are used with permission."
The Starship Saladin is now on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/StarshipSaladin


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 20, 2011 2:08 pm 
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Artist: Nova Trek
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Saladin_CO wrote:
I know they just upgraded forum software, so it might be due to that. For the time being, just delete them and move on. I'll post your quote in the forum management section. :)



Okay.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 3:06 pm 
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Artist: Nova Trek
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Just read the latest pages. Looks good. But the flow of the story seems a little choppy. One moment they're talking about bringing the bouy on board and in the next panel they've already done it and have accessed it's programing- what's left of it.
Think it would have been beter to at least show them beaming it aboard and opening it. Then go on from there.
Other than that, you've got me wondering what happened.


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